"If this intimidating-looking instrument would be used as a weapon of mass destruction, it would be called a bassooka."
"imagine being his neighbour!!"
""The classical is generally much softer, and has some really nice, pure notes." BRAAAAAAAP, BWREEEEEEEP"
"Some really nice "pure notes..." I call this one... "Uncle on the toilet"
"The range of pitch is from 'taco fart' down to 'engine noise in cabin'."
"Ah yes, the opening movement from Beethoven's 'Symphony for Oil-tankers.' I know it well!"
Magnus Mørkøre Johannesen
"I call this next composition 'Ship Arriving in Harbour'"
"So you’re controlling the reed... *Angry barn owl shrieking* In a different way to the modern one which is... *Screeching baby with a cold*
"sounds exactly like my wife after full English breakfast"
It's like a precision didgeridoo
"Herr Beethoven, how tall would you like your contrabassoon to be? Beethoven: Yes. "
"When you finally got home after a date"
/ vetray /
"Sounds like my mum's phone vibrating"
"The contrabassoon has only one rival in an orchestra, and that's the smashing of hardened concrete with a pneumatic drill next to your ear".
Back Alley CQC
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